Monday, June 23, 2014

Reflecting and musing,, also some giddy

So,, I have been travelling a lot since April and now I'm finally home for several weeks.  As we were headed home from out latest venture in dog show hub-bub I was doing some reflecting.

Often times as I drive I do a lot of reflecting.  Mostly when the music is good and my travelling companion is taking a much needed nap.  This gives me time to become one with what I am doing and where I am going.
I think about the wins and losses.  The dogs of the past and the future babies coming around.  People and the things that have been said and how it either inspired me or gave me opportunity to inspire them.  I get emotional musing over the blessings I constantly have and how important it is to take inventory of them.  Not only for myself but to bring attention to those that do bless me.

This last set of shows was particularly nice for me.  My brother and sister-in-law showed up at the show in Montana, just out of the blue.  I know my sister-in-law had been to some of my shows but I'm pretty sure my brother had never been.  It was so neat to see them and for once in a very long time,, I was actually giddy.  I just was genuinely excited and giddy.  My brother got to see me show and got to meet a person I've really wanted him to meet for some time.  My mentor,, David.
David has always reminded me of my brother Ray in so many ways.  They are both great teachers and show incredible patience in doing so.  Both are adamant about standing up for injustice and hold a strong sense of protection over family and loved ones.  Both are into hunting and being outdoors and doing so in a sensible manner.  Anyway,, I was most excited to have them together before me.  They both mean so much to me and it was a time I won't forget.

I've taken on a strong sense of being positive and pointing out the positives in my life this year.  After a hard month of May when I was so discouraged by the pitfalls of my sport, I had to do something.  So I do a daily account of my blessings.  Not from a religious point of view, although I do believe they are from God, but you don't have to believe that to really be thankful for the "good" things in your life.  The more I do it, the more I see it.  Practice makes perfect I suppose and it changes the way you think about things.  There is just so much around me to really take thanks in.

I'm seeing rainbows again.  The deep depression of losing my dad is slowly lifting off of me and I'm getting back to the person that I was before.... albeit a changed person.  I don't really think we can go back to something we were once an experience has changed us.  The thing we can do is decide how that change will effect us and where we will go with it.  I can't remain in a state of despair.  It's not healthy.. so I am trying to grow and become better.  Better then I was and forever changing into something even better then that.  I want to be inspiring and encouraging.  Love the people I have in my life and become something they need as much as I need them.

Oh, how those long drives have served me well throughout the years.  Many fine memories for sure.  Many times that I can look back on now and smile and remember,, and miss.  I've had many travelling partners and each one was so special.  Kim, Pearl, Joanne and Debbie.  All a hoot and all contributing to some awesome memories.  Truly a blessing to be seen in that.

So,, with a few weeks to be home and set to being somewhat normal I have to find a way to reflect on things here.  The evening sunsets are perfect for that and I take a great amount of time taking them in each evening. Thank goodness for them.. so special indeed.

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